SIDEBAR CREDIT TO ohannibal

Best Friday ever w/ Craig

a daydream away♥

if i could be with you tonight, i would sing you to sleep; never let them take the light behind your eyes

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business email glossary

• thanks in advance:  get this done by the time i press "send"
• thanks for your interest:  why'd you have to bring this up
• would you be so kind:  fucking do it
• best:  i have never physically met you
• all best:  this conversation is over
• all my best:  i wish you would die
• happy to help:  this is the easiest thing in my inbox
• i hope this helps:  i've done all i'm willing to do
• i did a bit of research:  i googled it, because you're too lazy to
• sorry to chase:  answer my email
• so sorry to chase:  answer my FUCKING email
• i am really sorry for being a pest but:  i am LIVID that you are ignoring me
• please contact my colleague:  this isn't my problem
• i'm copying in my colleague:  this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it
• i'll check and get back to you:  i might forget to
• i'll let you know when i hear anything:  i will forget to
• can you check back with me in a week?:  i'm hoping you will forget to
• per our earlier conversation:  i just yelled at you on the phone
• great to chat just now:  you just yelled at me on the phone
• thanks!:  i'm not mad at you
• thanks!!:  please don't be mad at me
• thanks!!!:  i'm crying at my desk
• please advise:  this might be your fault
• kindly advise:  this is entirely your fault
• mind if i swing by?:  i'm already in the elevator
• can you confirm for me:  you told me before and i deleted the email
• sorry if that was unclear:  i think you're an idiot
• let me know if you need anything else:  please never contact me again