facts-i-just-made-up:

THE TRUE FACTS ABOUT THE ONION

theonion acts like it’s the foremost fake news source on tumblr but you’re about to learn the truth:

• The Onion was founded by traitor Benedict Arnold
• The Onion profited from supporting Germany and Japan in WW2
• The Onion voted for Richard Nixon, twice
• The Onion shot that dog on the cover of Mad Magazine
• The Onion’s editor-in-chief eats kittens for lunch, and puppies for dinner
• The Onion likes the prequels more than the original trilogy
• “The Onion” is an anagram for “I Hate Homestuck”
• The Onion once sued Nintendo for no reason, just for fun
• The Onion wrote that song “Blurred Lines”
• The Onion started the meninist movement
• The Onion killed Bambi’s mother
• The Onion called Shrek “not as good as A Bug’s Life”
• The Onion endorses Fracking- In American Schools

Take that, you fibrous root vegetable.